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Good
morning <$firstname$>,
This
is hilarious and will make your Monday - one of my loyal
readers in Sydney sent this over the other day; read it
out loud and you'll laugh your head off :
Official
Language in Europe to Change :
From German to English = "Euro-English"
The
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As
part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and
has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known
as "Euro-English".
In
the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one
less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In
the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes
are possible.
Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also,
al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e"
in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By
the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w"
with "v".
During
ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer,
ve v! il hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer
vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
Und
efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst plas.
If
zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Ontil
next tim, al ze best from :
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21
May 2007 
"Even
if you do learn
to speak correct English, whom are you going
to speak it to?"
Clarence
Darrow
1857 - 1938
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